Yusuke and Kuwabara's Excellent Adventure
by Himizu-chan
Summary: Himizu and Ryouko decide to film another parody! This time they choose the '80's flick, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Involves time traveling, historical figures, bad music, curling, and Hiei dressed as Napoleon! Complete!
1. Chapter 1

Yusuke and Kuwabara's Excellent Adventure

A/N: I know, I know, I know what you're all thinking! 'Why doesn't this lazy girl ever think up anything original? Why does she insist on writing these stupid parodies? And why the hell doesn't she ever update?' Well, I refuse to answer your questions on the grounds that they may incriminate me. In the meantime, I'm writing this fic anyways, which is a parody of a super-hilarious movie, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Enjoy it. And in the meantime, pray for my sanity, or what's left of it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, this movie transcript, or the historical figures that appear herein.

Himizu and Ryouko were lying on couches and watching TV. They had been enjoying themselves thoroughly watching a medley of crime shows, comedies, and horror movies. They were bored out of their minds. This was a little unusual, but it was the sad truth. So they decided to start some trouble in the best way they knew how… they decided to do another parody.

"What should we do this time?" Himizu asked.

"Dunno… most of the comedies lately are either totally lame, or totally inappropriate to do with YYH characters since they involve dressing as animals or something," Ryouko said.

"So it stands to reason that we should be looking at slightly older comedies," Himizu said finally. "What have we watched lately?"

"Ooh! Ooh! How about the one about the two guys that traveled through time and stuff?"

"Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure?"

"Yeah, that one!"

"Excellent!"

"Very. Let's go!"

LATER

The YYH characters were sitting on several couches and chairs nearby. They no longer fought when they were dragged to Animedom; they had learned that the best path was the one of least resistance.

"So what are we doing this time?" Kurama asked calmly.

"Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure!!!" Ryouko and Himizu chorused.

"Are you kidding me?" Yusuke exclaimed. "That movie is so old!"

"Well, you should be happy about this, Yusuke. I'm finally making you one of the main characters!" Himizu said with a smile.

"Yes! Finally!" Yusuke exclaimed.

"Your co-star is Kuwabara," Ryouko said.

"Wait, what?" Yusuke exclaimed.

"Awesome!" yelled Kuwabara. Kurama began to laugh uncontrollably.

"I take it you have seen this movie, Kurama," Himizu said happily. Kurama nodded.

"What, why?" Yusuke asked.

"You'll see!" Himizu and Ryouko chorused together. "Now let's get started!!!"

* * *

(A small cardboard sign appears, which says 'San Dimas, California. 2688')

Rufus Mitari was standing there. "Hi. Welcome to the future. San Dimas, California, 2688 and I'm telling you it's great here. The air is clean. The water's clean. Even the dirt is clean. Bowling scores are way up. Mini-golf scores are way down. And we have more excellent water slides than any other planet we communicate with. I'm telling you this place is great. But it almost wasn't. 700 years ago, the two great ones ran into a few problems. So now I have to travel back in time to help them out. If I should fail to keep these two on the correct path the basis of our society will be in danger. Don't worry, it'll all make sense."

(Another cardboard sign, this one saying 'San Dimas, California. 1988')

(Inside Bill Yusuke's Garage)

(Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara are playing their instruments in Bill Yusuke's garage. Ted Kuwabara is videotaping.)

"I'm Bill Yusuke S. Preston, Esquire.

"And I'm Ted Kuwabara 'Theo…'" He realizes he's still behind the camera. "Oh! Bill Yusuke, here take it."

"Okay." He takes the camera and begins filming Ted Kuwabara.

"And I'm Ted Kuwabara "Theodore" Logan."

"Yeah!" Bill Yusuke sets down the camera and faces it so that it's taping both of them.

"And we're Wyld Stallyns!" they yell. They both play their guitars, and they are very bad. They end up blowing out a speaker and they open up the garage door to air out the garage.

"Oh, dude!" yelled Bill Yusuke. "Let's bail. We blew it. I guess we used too much power. Ted Kuwabara, while I agree that in time our band will be most triumphant, the truth is Wyld Stallyns will never be a super band until we have Eddie Van Halen on guitar."

"Yes Bill Yusuke, but I do not believe we will get Eddie Van Halen until we have a triumphant video," Ted Kuwabara replied.

"Ted Kuwabara, it's pointless to have a triumphant video before we even have decent instruments."

"Well how can we have decent instruments when we really don't even know how to play?"

"That is why we need Eddie Van Halen."

"And that is why we need a triumphant video."

(Pause)

"Excellent." They both do an air guitar.

An alarm clock goes off.

"Uh oh. We're late," said Bill Yusuke.

"For what?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"For school, dude," Bill Yusuke reminded him.

"Oh yeah."

(School, specifically History Class)

Mr. Ryan Kaito glared at Bill Yusuke. "Bill Yusuke, I'm waiting."

"He's dead?" Bill Yusuke said finally.

"So Bill Yusuke, what you're telling me, essentially, is that Napoleon was a short, dead dude," said Mr. Ryan Kaito finally.

"Well yeah," said Bill Yusuke.

Ted Kuwabara leaned over and whispered, "You totally blew it, dude."

"Ted Kuwabara, stand up," said Mr. Ryan Kaito.

"Stand up?"

"Yes baka, stand up." Ted Kuwabara stands up. "Now, who was Joan of Arc?"

"Noah's wife?"

The bell rings for the end of class.

"Listen guys, don't forget, tomorrow. Final Reports, 1:30-3:30, okay?" He turned to Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara as they tried to make their escape. "Hey guys."

"Mr. Ryan Kaito, before you say anything, my distinguished colleague Ted Kuwabara and I wish to express to you our thanks for all the things we have learned in your class," said Bill Yusuke as sincerely as possible.

"And what have you learned?" asked Mr. Ryan Kaito.

"We have, uh…we've learned that the world has a great history," stammered Bill Yusuke.

"Yes, and that thanks to leaders such as Genghis Khan, Joan of Arc, and Socratic Method, the world is full of history," added Ted Kuwabara.

"It seems to me that the only thing you have learned is that Caesar was a salad dressing dude. Bill Yusuke, Ted Kuwabara, this is really quite simple. You have flunked every section of this class. Now unless you get an A on your final oral report tomorrow, guys, I have no choice but to flunk the both of you. Now you know your topics so I would at least suggest that you cover those areas." Mr. Ryan Kaito gestured to a paper that Bill Yusuke was holding. "Do you understand?"

"Yes sir," They said, turning to leave.

"Guys." They turned back to him. "Your report had better be something very special."

(Outside the School)

Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara are walking. Ted Kuwabara is carrying a huge pile of books.

"Bill Yusuke, what are we supposed to know for our report?"

"I'm not sure," Bill Yusuke replied. "One thing I know is that Joan of Arc is not Noah's wife."

"Well then who is Noah's wife?"

"I dunno, Ted Kuwabara. But I do know that we're in serious trouble. Listen to this." Bill Yusuke started reading from the paper. "Express to the class how an important historical figure from each of your time periods would view the world of San Dimas, 1988. We're in danger of flunking most heinously tomorrow, Ted Kuwabara."

Missy Koto drove up in her flashy red car. "Hi, Bill Yusuke. Want a ride?"

"Sure Missy Koto," he answered. She frowned at him. "I mean, Mom." She smiled at him.

"Your step-mom's cute," Ted Kuwabara whispered to Bill Yusuke.

"Shut up, Ted Kuwabara!"

"Remember when she was a senior and we were freshman?" Ted Kuwabara continued whispering.

"Shut up, Ted Kuwabara!"

(Outside Ted Kuwabara's house)

Missy Koto drove up with the boys seated in the backseat.

"I'll be right back, as soon as I get my books," said Ted Kuwabara. He hopped out of the car and ran inside. Bill Yusuke grabbed a bag of chips from one of the grocery bags in the front seat, opened it, and started munching.)

(Inside)

Ted Kuwabara's dad, Captain Logan Karasu was in the living room looking for his car keys. Ted Kuwabara came in quietly and tried to sneak to his room, but his dad spotted him.

"Ted Kuwabara," said Captain Logan Karasu.

"What are you doing home… dad?" Ted Kuwabara asked, twitching quite badly at the though of Karasu being his father. Almost as badly as Kurama would have been twitching. Cuz let's face it, Karasu is just plain creepy.

"I'm looking for my keys," Captain Logan Karasu replied.

"Oh?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"You haven't done anything with them, have you?"

"No, sir."

"I spoke with your principal today, Ted Kuwabara. He said you're failing History."

"Me and Bill Yusuke…"

"He also said that if you fail History you flunk out of school, and you know what that would mean Ted Kuwabara?"

"That I would have to go to Oats Military Academy, sir."

"Uh-huh. I spoke to Colonel Oats this morning. He's anxious to meet you, Ted Kuwabara."

(Outside)

Ted Kuwabara comes out the front door a few minutes later with his books and hops back into the car. He looked at Bill Yusuke. "Dude, we gotta pass. Otherwise there's no more band."

"Why?"

"My dad's sending me to Military School."

"Where?"

"Alaska."

(San Dimas - 2688)

Three Great Leaders sit on a throne. One of them, Head Leader Genkai, said, "It is time. Their separation is imminent."

Rufus Mitari nodded. The Leader opened her hand and a ball of light came out. It formed a piece of metal, a 1988 telephone booth.

"Be excellent to each other," said Rufus Mitari.

"Party on, dude!" Head Leader Genkai replied.

Rufus Mitari stepped into the booth, dialed the phone, and took off for the past.

* * *

"You two are so weird… What drugs are you on?" Hiei asked.

"Caffeine mostly. The rest of it is just stuff that we convince ourselves are drugs but aren't… anything with sugar is a given," Himizu said. "What do you think of this movie so far?"

"Not bad…" Hiei admitted.

"That's just because you haven't been in it yet and you get to watch Yusuke and Kuwabara make complete fools out of themselves," Ryouko pointed out.

"And what's wrong with that?" Hiei asked.

"Absolutely nothing!" Ryouko replied.

"And next time, the boys are finally going to get to time travel. And Hiei will be in the next one," Himizu said perkily.

"Do I have to?" he asked.

"Yep. And you'll love your costume," Ryouko said with a straight face. She and Himizu caught each other's eyes and then they started cracking up. Hiei sighed.

"This is not a good sign…" he muttered.

A/N: I plan to finish the last chapter of this fic within the next couple of days, so you can expect the story to be posted fairly quickly, within the month. Hope you like it. Please review, I could use an ego boost, maybe it'll inspire me to work on other fics.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Don't really feel like making an author's note now... but you should know the drill. I don't own anything that's copyrighted, blah blah blah.

"Okay, so when do we get to see this brilliant costume of Hiei's?" Kurama asked. The girls glanced at each other and shrugged.

"Now is as good a time as any," said Ryouko cheerfully. "Come on Hiei." She led him off to find his costume. Kurama glanced at Himizu.

"I assume that I'll have a part to play at some point?" he asked.

"Naturally. We can't leave you out of it. But it'll be a little while before you get to make your appearance."

"Care to enlighten me as to who I'm playing?"

"Ha, you wish," Himizu laughed. "You'll wait your turn just like everyone else."

Ryouko poked her head in. "Ready?" she asked.

"Always," said Himizu.

Ryouko walked in and whistled for Hiei to come out. And he did. He was dressed as Napoleon, French general outfit and all, with his hand tucked into the front of his jacket and wearing the French hat with a small hole in the top for the tips of his spiky hair to poke out. (What is it with me and Hiei and Napoleon? This is the second fic where I've done something with those two.)

Everyone cracked up, including Ryouko and Himizu. Hiei just glared at everyone.

"Priceless!" Himizu exclaimed. "One of the reasons I did this parody was to see you in that outfit. Now let's get started!"

(A cardboard sign appears, saying '1988-Bill Yusuke's Room')

"Okay Ted Kuwabara," said Bill Yusuke. "George Washington. One… the father of our country."

"Two… born on President's Day."

"Three… the dollar bill guy."

"Bill Yusuke, you ever made a mushroom out of his head?"

"Ted Kuwabara, Alaska…"

Ted Kuwabara settled down. "Okay. Had wooden teeth, chased Moby Dick."

"That's Captain Ahab, dude."

"Oh wait. Remember Disney World, The Hall of Presidents."

"Yeah, good, what'd he say?"

"'Welcome to the Hall of Presidents.'"

Missy Koto knocked on the door and came in. "Hi, I brought you guys some food."

Bill Yusuke stared lustfully at Missy Koto. Ted Kuwabara looked at him. "It's your mom, dude!"

Bill Yusuke's dad, Mr. Youko Preston, who by the way now had a beard, walked in. "How's it going guys?" he asked.

"Bad!" the boys exclaimed.

"We are destined to flunk most egregiously tomorrow," Bill Yusuke said.

"And I am destined to end up at Oats Military Academy," added Ted Kuwabara.

"And then we'll never start our band," Bill Yusuke finished.

Mr. Youko Preston was way more interested in watching Missy Koto as she played with his beard. "Good. Good," he muttered.

"What are you guys studying anyway?" Missy Koto asked.

"History," said Ted Kuwabara.

"Mr. Ryan Kaito?" asked Missy Koto.

"Uh-huh," said Ted Kuwabara.

"Tell him, 'Hi'," Missy Koto said.

"Why don't you guys take a dinner break," Mr. Youko Preston suggested, handing over some money.

"Thanks, dad," said Bill Yusuke.

The boys grabbed their stuff and went out into the hallway. They turned back, but Mr. Youko Preston closed the bedroom door.

"Now your dad's going for it. In your own room," said Ted Kuwabara, matter-of-factly.

"Shut up Ted Kuwabara," snapped Bill Yusuke.

"Your step-mom is cute though."

"Shut up Ted Kuwabara."

"Remember when I asked her to the prom?"

"Shut up Ted Kuwabara!!"

(In the town circle, known as Circle K…)

Bill Yusuke sat on the curb. Ted Kuwabara walked over to him, muttering under his breath. "1275…1275…" He sat down. "Okay the lady in that car over there said that Marco Polo was in the year 1275."

"So it's not just a water sport, I knew it!" Bill Yusuke exclaimed.

Ted Kuwabara spotted Cashier Atsuko going into the store. "Excuse me, when did the Mongols rule China?"

"I don't know. I just work here," she said, walking off.

"Wanna try the Thrifty Mart?" Ted Kuwabara asked.

"Sure," Bill Yusuke replied. They packed up their stuff and got ready to leave, but the wind picked up and it looked like a storm was building. They looked up and suddenly a phone booth came right out of the sky and landed in front of them.

"Whoa! Not bad," they chorused.

The booth's door opened and Rufus Mitari walked out. "Greetings, my excellent friends," he said.

"Do you know when the Mongols ruled China?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"Well, perhaps we could ask them. Bill Yusuke S. Preston, Esquire and Ted Kuwabara 'Theodore' Logan. Gentlemen, I'm here to help you with your History report."

"What?" cried Ted Kuwabara.

"How?" yelped Bill Yusuke.

Suddenly another phone booth dropped from the sky. They turned and looked at it.

"Bill Yusuke?" said Ted Kuwabara.

"What?"

"Strange things are afoot at the Circle K."

The doors to the second booth opened and another Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara come out. For our purposes here this new Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara will be BakaBill and BakaTed. Mwa ha ha.

"Dudes, you guys are gonna go back in time," said BakaBill.

"Yeah! You are gonna have a most excellent adventure through History," said BakaTed.

"Who are you guys?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"We're you, dude," said BakaTed.

"No way. No way!" cried Ted Kuwabara.

"Yes way, Ted Kuwabara!" said BakaTed.

"Look, we know how you feel. We didn't believe it either when we were you and we us said what we us are saying right now," said BakaBill.

"Okay wait, if you guys are really us, what number are we thinking of?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"69, dudes!" said BakaBill and BakaTed.

"Whoa!" gasped Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara. All four of them played an air guitar.

"Look, we've gotta go," said BakaBill.

"Yeah, we gotta get back to the report," said BakaTed. They turned to leave and spotted Rufus Mitari.

"Rufus Mitari!" they exclaimed.

"Listen to this dude, Rufus Mitari. He knows what he's talking about," said BakaBill.

"Right! And Ted Kuwabara, give my love to the Princesses," said BakaTed.

"Who?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"You'll see," said BakaTed.

"Gentleman…is everything all right?" asked Rufus Mitari.

The Bakas turned and walked back to the booth.

"Ted Kuwabara, don't forget to wind your watch!" called BakaTed. Ted Kuwabara nodded and looked down at his watch.

"Thanks Rufus Mitari," chorused the bakas. They got into the booth. "Catch ya later, Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara." They closed the door and took off. Rufus Mitari turned back to Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara and motioned for them to enter his booth. Ted Kuwabara holds up a finger for him to wait a moment and he turns to Bill Yusuke.

"Dude, are you sure we should be doing this?" he asked.

"Ted Kuwabara, you and I have witnessed many things, but nothing as bodacious as what just happened. Besides we told ourselves to listen to this guy."

"What if we were lying?"

"Why would we lie to ourselves?"

Ted Kuwabara nodded and they walked over to the booth.

"How are you gonna help us?" Ted Kuwabara asked Rufus Mitari.

"Yeah, are you gonna call someone and get the answers?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"Gentlemen, we're gonna do a lot more than that," said Rufus Mitari, dialing the phone.

"Whoa, excellent," the boys chorused.

Rufus Mitari hung up the phone and put on his sunglasses. "Brace yourselves amigos. Gentlemen, we're history."

The booth took off.

"Rufus Mitari, where are we, dude?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"These are the Circuits of History, gentlemen. They'll take us to any point in time we wish," Rufus Mitari explained.

"How?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"Modern technology, William Yusuke."

"Whoa," the boys chorused.

(A cardboard sign read 'Austria, 1805')

The booth shot out of the Circuits of History and landed in Austria.

"That was most unprecedented Rufus Mitari," declared Bill Yusuke.

"Where are we, Rufus Mitari?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"Austria, 1805, the French have just invaded," Rufus Mitari said, pointing. The two guys went and looked at the battle raging on the field below them.

"Bill Yusuke, check it out! We're in the middle of a war, dude!" cried Ted Kuwabara.

At the French Base Camp, Napoleon Hiei walked out of his tent. His Generals pointed to Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara.

"Amigos, time to depart," said Rufus Mitari.

Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara got into the booth. Ted Kuwabara waved. Napoleon Hiei looked at the booth through a telescope.

"How's it going dude?" called Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara.

"Blow them up! Move it!" Napoleon Hiei yelled. He took a step, but an incoming cannon ball exploded near him and he was thrown into the Circuits of Time behind the booth.

Back in San Dimas, at Ted Kuwabara's house.

"Now where are we, dude?" asked Ted Kuwabara, looking around. "Oh, it's my house."

Behind them, Napoleon Hiei was dangling upside down from a tree, but no one had seen him yet. Meanwhile, Himizu is laughing her ass off at this, she enjoys being mean to Hiei. Hiei is also quite pissed off and plotting her untimely demise, but that's nothing new.

"Rufus Mitari, can we go anywhere we want? In any time?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"Gentlemen, you can do anything you want, as long as you remember this, no matter what happens, you must get to that report. Got it? All right amigos, that book will tell you the number of any place you want to go. Now, most important, no matter what you do, no matter where you go, that clock (he pointed to Ted Kuwabara's watch), the clock in San Dimas is always running. Got it? (The guys nod) All right, time for me to go."

"What do you mean, Rufus Mitari?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"Yeah, aren't you coming with us?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"Gentlemen, you're on your own," said Rufus Mitari. He got back into the booth and took off. Another booth immediately took its place.

"Ted Kuwabara, this has been a most unusual day," said Bill Yusuke.

Ryouko and Himizu push Napoleon Hiei out of the tree. Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara go over and look at him.

"Ted Kuwabara, it's Napoleon Hiei," said Bill Yusuke.

"Who?" Ted Kuwabara asked.

"The short, dead dude from our History revue. Ted Kuwabara, I have a most excellent idea. Grabs his legs, let's get him inside. I think I've figured out a way to pass our report," said Bill Yusuke.

"How?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"Well we've got one historical figure here. Maybe we can go back and get some more," explained Bill Yusuke.

"Yeah!" exclaimed Ted Kuwabara.

(In Ted Kuwabara's Room)

Napoleon Hiei lay on the bed. Ted Kuwabara's little brother Deacon Rinku.

"Deacon Rinku, you have to watch this guy. His name is Napoleon Hiei. He's a very famous French dude," said Ted Kuwabara.

"We have decided to collect other important figures in History for an oral report we are doing. While we are gone you are not to let him out of your sight," Bill Yusuke added.

"Here is some money. Take him to the movies or something," Ted Kuwabara finished.

Napoleon Hiei opened his eyes and looked around.

"Uh, Napoleon Hiei, I am Bill Yusuke. We'll take you back to France after you tell us what you think of San Dimas. This is Ted Kuwabara's little brother, Deacon Rinku."

"Hi," said Deacon Rinku.

"He'll take care of you. Ready Ted Kuwabara?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"Ready Bill Yusuke."

"Let's go back into history." The two boys did an air guitar, then headed off. They almost made it out the door, but Ted's father, caught them.

"This should be most triumphant," said Bill Yusuke.

"I want to speak with you, Ted Kuwabara. Alone, please Bill Yusuke," said Captain Logan Karasu. Bill Yusuke went to wait outside. "All right, sit down. What am I gonna do with you, huh?"

Bill Yusuke peeked through the window and saw that Ted Kuwabara was getting another lecture. "Great," he muttered.

"You lose my keys. You fail History. You spend all your time with your loser friend planning a band that'll never happen. Now you're not to leave this house again until tomorrow morning." Captain Logan Karasu paused as the phone rang. He answered it. "Yes?"

Bill Yusuke started speaking in a very badly disguised voice. "Captain Logan Karasu? This is Deputy Van Halen down at the station."

"Deputy Van Halen?" asked Captain Logan Karasu.

Ted Kuwabara looked up at this. He looked out the window and saw Bill Yusuke on the phone in the booth. They both did an air guitar.

"I'm new, dude, uh, sir. Look, we found your keys, and if you want 'em you better come and get 'em." Bill Yusuke hung up after he said this.

"When I get back from the station I want you packed and ready to go. Got it?" Captain Logan Karasu said. Ted Kuwabara nodded, then, as soon as his father left, he raced outside.

"We are in serious trouble. My dad already signed me up, my plane leaves tomorrow night."

"Only if we fail, dude," Bill Yusuke said. They both turned to look at the booth.

"No way!" they exclaimed. They went over to the booth and Bill Yusuke opened the phone book. Ted Kuwabara looked at his piece of paper.

"Okay, we got Sigmund Freud, Beethoven…"

"Uh, is there one for Western Movement in America in the 19th Century?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"Yeah," said Ted Kuwabara.

Bill Yusuke picked up the phone. "Well then, let's reach out and touch someone."  
He dialed as Ted Kuwabara closed the door to the booth. The booth took off just as Captain Logan Karasu came out the front door. He looked around, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

"You know, I've been wondering something," said Kurama. "Why the heck did you make Karasu of all people a policeman and Kuwabara's father?"

"I didn't know you cared, Kurama," said Karasu, gazing lustfully at the redhead. Kurama twitched. Ryouko and Himizu glanced at each other.

"May I do the honors?" Himizu asked. Ryouko nodded.

"I call next time," she added.

"But of course," Himizu said. Then she walked over to the crow demon and slapped him upside of the head with a rubber chicken. "STUFF IT, CROW!!" she yelled at him. She then proceeded to beat him unmercifully with the rubber chicken, a hockey stick, and her oversized croquet mallet.

"To answer your question, Kurama, I really have no idea what her problem was when she wrote the cast list. Apparently she had had too much Mountain Dew and she and Kitsune were creating havoc in their art class and then they came up with the idea. They've come up with weird ideas in that class apparently," Ryouko told him.

"Wonderful…" Kurama groaned.

"Now, if you need us, we'll be in the secret room with the TV. There's a new CSI on later. Let's go, Himizu!" Ryouko yelled. Himizu stopped beating the living crap out of Karasu and the two girls took off.

A/N: Hope you liked it. Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Okay, so that plan to have this fic done in a month failed miserably, but it's done now! And the whole thing will be posted soon. Hope you like. Please review!

Disclaimer: Don't own anything

The YYH gang went into the TV room a little while later. They saw Ryouko and Himizu staring at the TV. It showed Sara and Grissom. Sara was holding a razor and gazing at Grissom.

"Do you trust me?" she asked.

"Intimately," he replied. Then the credits began. Himizu rolled her eyes in disgust.

"That is so sickening! They should so not be a couple, it's awful!" she exclaimed.

"You're really not a romance fan, are you?" asked Kurama.

Ryouko started choking and the Mountain Dew she was drinking squirted out her nose as she laughed her head off. Himizu stared quizzically.

"You know, I thought that that sight would be more humorous, since you seem to take great pleasure in making me squirt Mountain Dew out MY nose all the time… but I'm just feeling kinda grossed out."

"I'll make you a video next time. It's really funny when you do it," Ryouko told her. "But," she added, turning to Kurama, "I'm cracking up because you should see her during Numb3rs… she is such a huge fan of the Charlie/Amita pairing, she yells at the TV whenever there's an episode where they don't kiss."

"… And there is nothing wrong with that…" Himizu snarled.

"Sure…" Ryouko muttered, rolling her eyes.

The YYH Cast sweatdropped. "Um, are you done?" asked Kurama.

"Now that you mention it, yes we are! Back to filming!" cried Himizu.

A small cardboard sign appears saying 'New Mexico, 1879')

A demon dressed as a cowboy walked into an outhouse. All of a sudden the ground shook a little and the booth dropped down right next to the outhouse. The guy stumbled out, pulling up his pants, as Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara walked out of the booth and headed into town.

"How's it going, Old West Dude?" asked Ted Kuwabara. The guy just stumbled away without answering. "Hey, Bill Yusuke, this is just like Frontier Land."

"Yeah, but you can get shot here, Ted Kuwabara. Just try to act natural."

"Howdy partner," said Ted Kuwabara to a random demon.

"Howdy," the demon responded.

"Oh, watch out for the horse crap, Ted Kuwabara."

"Oh, thanks dude. Hey, Bill Yusuke, I'm totally thirsty."

"Me too."

They entered a saloon and walked over to the bar. Bill Yusuke slapped down some money.

"Two beers please."

The bartender said nothing, just handed over two mugs of beer.

"Whoa, he didn't even card us, dude!" exclaimed Ted Kuwabara.

"Yeah, we're gonna have to remember this place. So, who should we take with us?" asked Bill Yusuke.

A young man entered and fired his gun in the air, then placed it back in the holster.

"Who's he?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"He's Jin the Kid," the demon bartender said.

"He's famous, dude," said Ted Kuwabara.

"Let's bag him," exclaimed Bill Yusuke.

"Ah need two men. Who's wit' me?" asked Jin the Kid. Everyone looked down at their cards or beer.

"We're with you Jin the Kid," said Bill Yusuke. Jin the Kid walked over to them.

"Here's the deal. What I win, I keep. What you win, I keep," he told the boys.

"Sounds good Mr. The Kid," said Bill Yusuke. Jin the Kid looked at him in a confused way.

(Later)

The three were seated around a poker table with some other men. Jin the Kid was dealing. Every time Ted Kuwabara got a card, he grinned. Bill Yusuke, who by the way, had a chocolate cigar in his mouth, had a better poker face.

"Dude, you gotta have a poker face, like me," he told Ted Kuwabara, who lost the smile. Then Bill Yusuke looked down at his cards and grinned. "Whoa! Three aces!" he exclaimed, holding them up.

"What the hell's going on here, Jin the Kid?" cried one of the men.

"Are you cheating us, Kid?" asked another one.

"Cheatin'? Me? No!" He tossed the table aside and a fight broke out. Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara stayed seated as everyone in the bar started fighting. Eventually the two bakas realized that they were surrounded and got out of their seats.

"Look, we're totally weak. We can't possibly fight you," said Bill Yusuke.

"However, how would you gentlemen like free passes to Waterloo. Home of excellent water slides," said Ted Kuwabara. The bar people just stared at them.

"Nice try, dude," said Bill Yusuke.

The two boys were picked up and thrown down the bar and they crashed through the walls, which happened to lead to the saloon girls' dressing room. Jin the Kid helped them get their heads out of the wall. They all turned around and saw three men approaching them.

"Look!" cried Ted Kuwabara, pointing. "It's the Goodyear Blimp."

The men turned to look at our guys jumped them and shoved their hands down on the guys heads. One of the guy's guns went off and hit him in the foot. Our gang ran out of the bar.

"I can't believe they fell for that!" Bill Yusuke exclaimed. They all ran over to the booth and Bill Yusuke opened the phone book, looking for a number.

"Let's get 'em!!!" cried the men at the bar.

"You guys saved me life," Jin the Kid said as Bill Yusuke dialed a number.

"Nothing doing Jin the Kid," said Ted Kuwabara.

"Where we going?" asked Jin the Kid.

"The Golden Age of Civilization," said Ted Kuwabara.

"Where?"

"Ancient Greece, dude," said Bill Yusuke.

"Don't worry, we'll bring you back as soon as you talk in our report," added Ted Kuwabara. The men they had been fighting had run outside and were running towards the booth.

"WHAT???" cried Jin the Kid. The booth vanished, leaving behind some very confused cowboys. After awhile though, they realized that they had probably imagined it. They went back into the saloon and started drinking more beers, realizing that life was good.

(Another cardboard sign reading "Athens, Greece, 410 BC")

Jin the Kid sat by the booth playing with a Nerf ball. (Himizu falls over laughing at the sight of Cowboy Jin playing with a Nerf ball.) Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara walked over to where an older man was giving a speech.

"Socrates… Hey, we know that name," said Bill Yusuke.

"Yeah. Hey, look him up," said Ted Kuwabara. Bill Yusuke took out a book. "Oh, it's under So-crates," added Ted Kuwabara.

"Oh yeah. So-crates: The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing."

Ted Kuwabara thought about this. "That's us, dude!"

"Let's bag him!" exclaimed Bill Yusuke. They walked over to where Socrates Chuu was giving his lesson.

Socrates Chuu was lecturing in Greek. "So you see, our lives are but specks of dust falling through the fingers of time." He stopped talking as Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara walked up to him.

"How's it going? I'm Bill Yusuke, this is Ted Kuwabara. We're from the future."

"Socrates Chuu…hmmm."

"Now what?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"I dunno, philosophize with him," said Bill Yusuke.

"All we are is dust in the wind, dude." Ted Kuwabara paused when it was obvious that Socrates Chuu didn't understand.

Bill Yusuke picked up some dirt out of pan. "Dust." He made a motion with his hand to mean wind. "Wind."

Ted Kuwabara pointed to Socrates Chuu. "Dude."

Socrates Chuu nodded, and continued speaking in Greek. "Yes, like sands of the hourglass, so are the days of our lives." He laughed.

"Let's get out of here, dude," said Bill Yusuke. They walked back to the booth with Socrates Chuu.

"That's it, now I know you two are on drugs!!!" Hiei exclaimed. "Who in their right minds makes Chuu Socrates?"

"Luckily for this parody, we are not in our right minds…" Himizu said, laughing her head off. Hiei could only shake his head. After all, there was no way to argue this.

(Another cardboard sign, reading "Medieval England")

The booth appeared in a wooded area just outside a castle. Socrates Chuu is obviously shocked by what has just happened.

"All right!" exclaimed Bill Yusuke.

"Not bad, eh Socrates? Where are we dudes?" asked Jin the Kid.

"England, 15th Century," replied Bill Yusuke.

"We are in most excellent shape for our report," added Ted Kuwabara.

"Yeah, all we need is one more speaker from Medieval," Bill Yusuke said.

"Excellent," said Jin the Kid.

"Jin the Kid, you are dealing with the oddity of time travel with the greatest of ease." He paused and turned to a peasant whose name was Itsuki. "Excuse me. Do you know where there are any personages of historical significance around here?" The peasant whose name was Itsuki pointed behind them, and they turned to look at the castle.

"Whoa!" they all chorused.

"Check it out!" exclaimed Ted Kuwabara.

"It must be the castle of King Koenma. Let's go, dude!" exclaimed Bill Yusuke.

"Jin the Kid, watch the booth. And keep an eye on Socrates Chuu," said Ted Kuwabara. They walked off. Socrates Chuu started to follow them, but Jin the Kid stopped him and held out the Nerf ball.

"So, who should be get from Medieval? How about that gnarly old goat dude? Ted Kuwabara?" asked Bill Yusuke. Ted Kuwabara was gazing up at the castle.

"I'm in love, dude," he said. Bill Yusuke looked up too and saw the Princesses.

"Whoa. Those must be the Princesses you told yourself about at the Circle K." He sighed. "We gotta go, it's a history report, not a babe report."

"But Bill Yusuke, those are historical babes!" exclaimed Ted Kuwabara.

"Okay, you're the ladies man, how we gonna meet 'em?" asked Bill Yusuke. "Wait, he's the ladies man? What about me?"

"Shut up, it's in the script!" Ryouko yelled at him.

Inside the castle hallway, two guards were marching past a row of suits of armor. As soon as they passed, two of the suits moved and turned to watch them leave. Apparently Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara were inside them!

"Excellent. Bill Yusuke?

"What?"

"These are heavy."

"Yeah, heavy metal." They both did an air guitar. "Whoa, we gotta go find the princesses," Bill Yusuke realized.

"Yeah," agreed Ted Kuwabara.

"Watch it!"

They ran around and kept crashing into each other.

"Who turned out all the lights?" yelled Bill Yusuke.

"Hey, Bill Yusuke?"

"What?"

"I'm Darth Ted Kuwabara." He hit Bill Yusuke on the head with a sword.

"Yeah, well I'm Luke Bill Yusuke. And you're not my father." They started attempting to sword fight, but it was totally lame and Ryouko and Himizu shook their heads in disgust. "Come on!" exclaimed Bill Yusuke.

"Hey! I totally conquered you, dude!" cried Ted Kuwabara.

"No way! Come on! I'll never rule the Universe with you."

"Hey Bill… you totally know how to sword fight."

Bill Yusuke rushed him and knocked Ted Kuwabara down a flight of stairs into the kitchen. Bill Yusuke rushed down the stairs and looked down at two guards who were looking down at Ted Kuwabara who was lying on the floor. One of the guards whose name was Younger Toguro thrust his sword into Ted Kuwabara's chest.

"Ted Kuwabara," Bill Yusuke gasped in shock.

"Search the castle, their might be more of them," muttered the guard. Bill Yusuke hid as a guard named Elder Toguro came up the stairwell. As soon as the guard was gone, he ran down into the kitchen. He looked down at Ted Kuwabara's body, then turned to the kitchen wenches.

"Get outta here!" he yelled. They fled. "Bogus. Heinous. Most non-triumphant. Oh, Ted Kuwabara, don't be dead, dude." The guard that had killed Ted Kuwabara entered the kitchen again. "You killed Ted Kuwabara, you medieval dickweed! Ahhh!" Bill Yusuke screamed as he lunged at the guard. They fought and Bill Yusuke was knocked to the ground. Before the guard could kill him, however, he was hit in the head by none other than Ted Kuwabara! The guard fell to the ground unconscious. Ted Kuwabara helped Bill Yusuke up.

"Whoa! Ted Kuwabara, you're alive!" cried Bill Yusuke.

"Yeah! I fell out of my suit when I hit the floor," explained Ted Kuwabara. They hugged each other, then quickly pulled back.

"Fag!" they yelled at each other, grinning.

"Dude, you totally boned that dude in the head," said Bill Yusuke.

"Yeah! He's a total bonehead," said Ted Kuwabara.

They ended up out in the gardens where the Princesses were walking. Naturally, the boys walked up to them.

"Boys. I can't believe they're here," said Elisabeth Yukina.

"How's it going ladies?" the boys said.

"You're the ones we saw in front of the castle," Flora Keiko said.

"I am Ted Kuwabara of San Dimas and I bring to you a message of love."

The girls giggled. "From who?" asked Elisabeth Yukina.

"From…from myself," Ted Kuwabara stammered.

"And what is this message you speak of?" asked Elisabeth Yukina.

"Uh…" Ted Kuwabara could only stare at her.

"Lyrics, dude. Recite 'em some lyrics," hissed Bill Yusuke.

"Oh, you beautiful babes from England, for whom we have traveled through time…Will you go to the Prom with us in San Dimas? We will have a most triumphant time," said Ted Kuwabara finally. The girls giggled again.

"Way to go, dude," said Bill Yusuke.

King Koenma walked in with two ugly old men. They were searching for the girls, but didn't see them.

"Flora Keiko! Elisabeth Yukina!" he called.

"It's father!" gasped Elisabeth Yukina.

They ran out of the gardens and ended up in a bedroom.

"What does your father want?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"We're to be married to horrible old men today," said Flora Keiko.

"No way!" exclaimed Ted Kuwabara.

"Will you help us escape?" asked Elisabeth Yukina.

"Of course, babes," the boys said. They opened the bedroom door to reveal King Koenma.

"How's it going royal ugly dudes? I am the Earl of Preston," said Bill Yusuke.

"And I am the Duke of Ted Kuwabara."

King Koenma walked slowly into the room. "Put them in the Iron Maiden."

The girls looked horrified.

"Iron Maiden? Excellent," said the boys.

King Koenma rolled his eyes in disgust at their idiocy. "Execute them!"

"Oh no!" cried Elisabeth Yukina.

"Bogus," the boys said. They were dragged from the room.

"We'll save you babes!" Ted Kuwabara called. The girls smiled hopefully as the doors were shut behind them.

Down in the courtyard, Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara were tied down with their heads on chopping blocks. Two masked men were sharpening their blades. King Koenma and the Princesses watched from the royal box facing the Courtyard. The peasant whose name was Itsuki was riding around on a wagon holding the phone booth.

"Witches. Heretics! I saw them! They fell from the sky! Heretics! They fell out of the sky! They had fire in their eyes, and they had horns!" he yelled.

"Off with their heads!" called King Koenma.

"Bill Yusuke," said Ted Kuwabara.

"What?" Bill Yusuke asked.

"I believe our adventure through time has taken a most serious turn," said Ted Kuwabara.

The hooded men lifted their axes in unison and swung down. They cut the ropes binding Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara.

"Huh?" the boys exclaimed.

The hooded men freed Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara, the removed their hoods.

"Jin the Kid!" cried Bill Yusuke.

"Socrates Chuu!" cried Ted Kuwabara.

"Guards! Stop them!" cried King Koenma.

"Catch you later, evil dudes," said Bill Yusuke.

"Catch them!" cried King Koenma.

The escapees climbed onto the wagon with the booth on it and took off. The guards chased them out of the city and into the forest. Jin the Kid pulled the horses to a half and they all climbed into the booth. Bill Yusuke tried to find a working number.

"Dial fast, dude!" exclaimed Ted Kuwabara.

"I'm sorry, the number you've dialed is not in service at this time. Please check your directory and dial again," said the mechanical voice of the operator.

"Oh no," groaned Bill Yusuke.

"Party on, dude!" said the operator.

Bill Yusuke dialed again. The guards were closing in.

"Bill Yusuke!" exclaimed Ted Kuwabara.

Bill Yusuke hung up the phone. "Okay, I got one, let's go!"

They closed the booth door as a guard arrived and began to swing his weapon. Just before the weapon would have smashed the booth, it disappeared.

"This is turning more demented with every chapter…" Hiei groaned. "You made the drunk Aussie a Greek philosopher, you made the Irish nutjob an Old West cowboy, and you made Karasu a cop. What next?"

"You ain't seen nothin' yet!" exclaimed Himizu excitedly.

"Good lord…" muttered Hiei. He felt an aura of doom in the air.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: You know the drill, I own nothing... that you need to know about. Mwa ha ha.

"KURAMA!!!" Himizu screamed. The redhead, who was dozing on a chair not five feet away from her, was deafened at once and fell to the ground twitching. Hearing the thump, Himizu turned, saw him and grabbed him by the collar. "There you are! Guess what! Today you're performing!"

"I'll try to contain my joy…" he muttered in disgust. Himizu laughed.

"It's fun, you'll like this," she said.

"You dressed Hiei like Napoleon, Jin like a cowboy, and Chuu like a Greek philosopher. Excuse me if I don't have any confidence in what you're doing…" Kurama muttered grimly.

"Stop being such a baby," Ryouko said to him. "Let's go!"

* * *

A cardboard sign appeared reading 'San Dimas, 2688'.

Head Leader Genkai and the other two leaders looked up as the booth arrived. Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara walked out of the booth and heard music playing in the background.

"You guys stay here," Bill Yusuke said to Jin the Kid and Socrates Chuu.

"Where are we, dude?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"I don't know. They sure do play excellent music," Bill Yusuke replied.

"Most outstanding," Ted Kuwabara agreed.

They walked around to the other side of the booth and saw the leaders, who took off their sunglasses.

"It's you," said Head Leader Genkai.

"Yeah! It's us!" said Ted Kuwabara. He looked at Bill Yusuke. "Who are we?"

Bill Yusuke shrugged. The leaders made a slow air guitar motion with their hands. Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara did the same thing. Suddenly several people entered the room, all dressed in futuristic clothing. As the crescendo rose in the music, all of the people around the room made the air guitar motion. Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara looked around in awe. The people then lowered their arms and Head Leader Genkai motioned for them to speak.

"I think they want us to say something," said Ted Kuwabara.

"What should I say?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"Make something up," said Ted Kuwabara.

"Be excellent to each other," declared Bill Yusuke.

"Party on, dudes!" added Ted Kuwabara.

Everyone smiled and laughed. Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara headed back to the booth.

"Well, we gotta get back to our report," said Bill Yusuke.

"Yeah, we'd take you with us. But it's a history report, not a future report," added Ted Kuwabara.

"Later," said Bill Yusuke.

"Later," said all the future people.

They climbed back into the booth. "Come on, let's get back and do our report," said Ted Kuwabara.

"Yeah," said Bill Yusuke. He dialed and the booth disappeared.

Another cardboard sign appeared reading 'Circuits of History'.

"Dude, where're we going?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"I don't know. I think the booth's broke. We gotta keep going to San Dimas until we get back and get Napoleon," said Bill Yusuke.

* * *

Another cardboard sign, saying 'San Dimas - Ziggy Piggy'

Deacon Rinku has taken Napoleon Hiei to an ice cream shop and brought two friends of his, random red-haired girls that appear to be twins. Two Ziggy Piggy employees come over and they set down a huge bowl of ice cream.

"Behold. Behold, the Ziggy Pig. The single greatest ice cream spectacle known to man," said Employee Botan.

"Eat the pig. Eat the pig. Ziggy ziggy ziggy zig," added Employees Kido and Yanagisawa. Then they all left.

"Un barton," said Napoleon Hiei.

"It's ice cream. You eat it," said Deacon Rinku.

Napoleon Hiei tasted it. "Le glace?"

"Whatever, just eat it," said Deacon Rinku.

They all ate. Eventually the bowl was empty except for some melted ice cream on the bottom. Napoleon Hiei cuts off one of the girl's spoon so he can have the rest himself and he burps. The ZP Employees come back over.

"All behold, he ate the pig. Thus proving that he's a Ziggy Piggy, Ziggy Piggy, Ziggy Piggy," said Employee Botan. Her helpers, Employees Kido and Yanagisawa, picked up the bowl and made pig-snorting noises as they left. Napoleon Hiei used his finger to lick up some of the ice cream that had dripped onto the table. Deacon Rinku and his friends looked at him in disgust.

* * *

Back in the Circuits of History

"What's that?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"I don't know," answered Bill Yusuke.

"SHIT!!!" they both cried. Their fear turned to excitement though as the ride began to seem more and more like a roller coaster ride.

Another cardboard sign… stupid signs… this one reading 'Vienna'.

A man with a fake beard and bright red hair and wearing a nice suit was walking down the street when the booth landed in front of him.

"Where'd we land now?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"Dude, it's Sigmund Freud. How much time have we got left?" asked Bill Yusuke.

Ted Kuwabara checked his watch. "Tons! Why?"

"Extra credit, dude!" Bill Yusuke reminded him.

Ted Kuwabara stepped out of the booth. "How's it going, Freud dude?"

"Am I dreaming?" asked Kurama Freud. Ted Kuwabara stepped aside and Jin the Kid lassoed Kurama Freud. "Ah, ah desist. Let go of me. What are you doing?" he cried as he was shoved into the booth and they took off again.

In Austria, Sniper Beethoven (think about this: Sniper wearing a huge wig…) played the piano for a crowd of people. The booth landed in an outer hall and Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara walked in and lifted Sniper Beethoven up, piano stool and all, and hauled him out. The booth took off again.

In Orleans, France, Shizuru of Arc walked into a chapel. She took off her helmet and knelt with her sword in front of her by the altar. As she prayed, the booth appeared on the altar. She stared up at them in confusion. The door opened and Ted Kuwabara helped her into the booth. As it took off, Ted Kuwabara greeted her.

"Welcome aboard Ms. Shizuru of Arc. I'm Ted Kuwabara, and this is Bill Yusuke."

In Mongolia, Genghis Khan Touya was eating his dinner. A slave girl came in and fed him. He spat out the food and started to attack her. (Think of this! Violent Touya!) Suddenly the booth appeared in a flash of light. Ted Kuwabara held out a Twinkie and Genghis Khan Touya grabbed his club and went after said Twinkie.

"Would you like a Twinkie, Genghis Khan? Say please. Mmmmm," said Ted Kuwabara. Genghis Khan got into the booth and it took off again.

In the White House, Mr. Lincoln Sensui was in the Oval Office. (Again, the images...) There was a knock at the door.

"Candygram," said a voice.

Mr. Lincoln Sensui went over the door to answer it. When he opened the door, Genghis Kahn Touya grabbed him and shoved him into the booth, which took off again.

Back in the Circuits of History…

"We've got plenty of time, but we don't have any more room left," said Ted Kuwabara.

"Ted Kuwabara, we're outta control," said Bill Yusuke.

"What?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"The next place we stop we gotta try and figure out what's wrong with the booth," said Bill Yusuke. Ted Kuwabara turned around and looked at the antenna.

"Bill Yusuke, I think I got an idea what's wrong."

"What?" Bill Yusuke asked.

"The antenna's broken," Ted Kuwabara told him. Then everyone started screaming and freaking out.

* * *

In the San Dimas Bowling Alley…

Deacon Rinku had taken Napoleon Hiei bowling. Deacon Rinku bowled a strike, but Napoleon Hiei marked down that he only hit one pin. Then he picked up the ball and bowled, but he ended up falling on his face, and bowled a gutter ball.

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!" he exclaimed.

"Come on, let's ditch him," said Deacon Rinku to his two friends. They took off. Napoleon Hiei saw them leaving and tried to follow them, but the owner, whose name was Bui, stopped him.

"Excuse moi, mister," said Napoleon Hiei.

"No, no, not so fast there buddy," said Owner Bui.

"Buddy?"

"You ain't paid yet."

"Pay?"

"Pay?"

A few moments later, Owner Bui threw Napoleon Hiei out into the street.

"I don't want to see you around here anymore. Beat it," said Owner Bui. Napoleon Hiei muttered something in French. "Beat it, buddy!" Owner Bui yelled.

"Idiot!" snapped Napoleon Hiei, walking off.

* * *

In Prehistoric Sam Dimas…

Bill Yusuke was trying to fix the antenna.

Ted Kuwabara was passing out pudding cups. "Here is a treat to make a minor prehistoric pit stop a bit more enjoyable."

"Thank you," said Mr. Lincoln Sensui.

Bill Yusuke was sitting on top of the booth trying to fix the antenna. Of course, since he was terribly clumsy, he broke it instead. "Uh-oh," he said.

Later, everyone was chewing gum and sticking it together to form a ball. Ted Kuwabara took the ball of chewed gum and handed it to Bill Yusuke.

"Thanks guys. I sure hope this works," said Bill Yusuke. A few moments later, they all piled into the booth.

"I think it's working dude," said Ted Kuwabara as the booth took off.

They ended up in San Dimas on the previous day. They landed in Circle K and Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara found themselves looking at the old Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara who shall henceforth be referred to as BakaBill and BakaTed.

"Hey! That's us. We're back in San Dimas," said Ted Kuwabara.

"Yeah, only now it's not now. It's last night," said Bill Yusuke.

"Dude," said Ted Kuwabara.

"What?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"Let's go talk to ourselves," said Ted Kuwabara.

"Excellent," said Bill Yusuke.

"What'll we say anyway?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"I dunno…let's go find out," said Bill Yusuke.

(Flash forward a ways…)

"69, dudes!" said Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara.

"Whoa!" said BakaBill and BakaTed.

"Look dudes, we gotta go," said Bill Yusuke.

"Rufus Mitari!" Ted Kuwabara exclaimed, suddenly spotting the futuristic man.

"Listen to this dude Rufus Mitari, he knows what he's talking about," said Bill Yusuke.

"Right. Oh, and Ted Kuwabara, give my love to the Princesses," said Ted Kuwabara.

"Who?" asked BakaTed.

"You'll see," said Ted Kuwabara.

"Gentlemen, is everything all right?" asked Rufus Mitari.

"Yeah, except how come the number for San Dimas brought us here instead of to tomorrow, Rufus Mitari?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"Because in San Dimas it is tomorrow, William Yusuke. You have to dial one number higher," said Rufus Mitari.

"Oh yeah, thanks Rufus Mitari," said Bill Yusuke.

"And you better hurry, because you don't have much time left," said Rufus Mitari.

"What do you mean, Rufus Mitari? We got ten hours left," said Ted Kuwabara.

"Uh-uh, you got 2 hours left," said Rufus Mitari.

"Ted Kuwabara you forgot to wind your watch again. Even after you reminded yourself not to!" said Bill Yusuke, looking annoyed.

"Well I better remind myself again," said Ted Kuwabara, turning to BakaTed. "Ted Kuwabara, don't forget to wind your watch!" BakaTed nodded.

"Thanks Rufus Mitari," the pair said as they opened the booth door. "Catch ya later Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara." Then they got into the booth.

"That conversation made more sense this time," said Ted Kuwabara.

"Ted Kuwabara, you're too tall, dude," said Bill Yusuke, pushing his friend aside and making it over to the phone. He dialed and the booth took off.

The booth landed in Bill Yusuke's backyard where Missy Koto is watering. The booth landed on top of the hose so the water slowed to a trickle. Missy Koto turned around to see what had happened and she saw the booth.

"Whoa! Who's the Senorita? She's cute," said Jin the Kid.

"It's his mom, dude," said Ted Kuwabara.

"Oh," said Jin the Kid.

They opened the door and stepped out.

"Hi guys," said Missy Koto.

"Hi Missy Koto…I mean Mom," said Bill Yusuke.

"Uh, Mrs. Preston we'd like you to meet some of our friends," said Ted Kuwabara. As each of the historical figures gets out of the booth they shake hands with Missy Koto.

"Yeah, this is uh Dave Beethoven, and Maxine of Arc, Herman the Kid," said Bill Yusuke.

"Bob Genghis Khan, Socrates Johnson, Dennis Freud and, uh, Abraham Lincoln," added Ted Kuwabara.

"Well it's nice to meet all of you. There are soda's in the fridge," said Missy Koto.

"Mom, can you give us a ride someplace?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"Bill Yusuke, I'm not taking you anywhere until you do your chores," said Missy Koto.

Within a few moments, everyone was doing chores. Kurama Freud was vacuuming, Genghis Kahn Touya was cleaning the toilets, Shizuru of Arc and Jin the Kid were doing the dishes, and Sniper Beethoven was washing the windows.

"Done!" they yelled when they were finally finished.

* * *

"You guys make excellent housekeepers!" Himizu said happily. "Wanna take a stab at cleaning the mansion sometime?"

"You wish!" Yusuke exclaimed. "That place is huge! It would take us a hundred years to finish!"

"A hundred years in which you wouldn't have to perform parodies," said Ryouko, lifting her eyebrows and grinning. Yusuke paused.

"When can we start?" he asked.

"Sorry, too late, offer expired," Himizu said calmly. "Besides, that's why we have robot servants, baka, we don't have to pay them and they can clean the mansion in just a couple hours, not a hundred years."

"Damn…" he muttered, looking upset.

"Are my parodies seriously that demanding and traumatizing?" Himizu asked.

"YES!!!" the Cast yelled.

"Screw off!" she exclaimed, throwing fireballs at them. Fearing a scorching, the Cast fled for their lives.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, this movie, Mountain Dew, or the Wii... though my dad is buying me my own Wii cuz he's sick of me stealing my brother's, bwa ha ha!

Himizu's throwing of fireballs had scorched the studio a bit, but repairs were quickly made. Himizu gazed approvingly at the ogres' handiwork.

"Koenma, these guys are way more efficient than I had previously realized. No wonder you use them to do your meaningless office work," she said.

"It's not meaningless!" Koenma yelled. "They make sure that each soul is sent to the correct location!"

"Which is all meaningless to me since I'm immortal and there will be no need of that for me…"

"Well, you'll be sentenced to eternal damnation anyways, so it doesn't matter to you at all."

"Lovely, isn't it? Now, I really want to try to get this done soon, so let's go!"

At the San Dimas Mall, the gang is going up an escalator.

"This is the San Dimas mall. And this is where people of today's world hang out. All right everybody, watch your step getting off. Sniper Beethoven, make sure you don't get sucked under. Everybody get together. Make sure you remember who your buddy is. Socrates Chuu, watch out for your robe, dude. Okay, follow me. You've got your Broadway down here, and your Sears over here…" Bill Yusuke said, acting very much like a tour guide.

In the school auditorium, a preppy girl named Juri was giving her report.

"…is much like Marie Antoinette's. The few possess much, while the masses possess little but their television sets. This dichotomy led to a revolution in which Antoinette and her husband were be-headed. Today, leaders are appeased rather than be-headed. Still, while in her day Marie Antoinette said 'Let them eat cake', perhaps today she'd say, 'Let them eat fast food'." The audience clapped.

Back at the Mall, now in the Food Court…

Bill Yusuke sat down a tray of different flavored slushie drinks.

"Enjoy!" said Ted Kuwabara.

"Okay, look around, see what you think. We'll be back as soon as we find Napoleon Hiei," said Bill Yusuke. "Come on, dude, we don't got much time," he said to Ted Kuwabara.

"Yes, but what do we…" Mr. Lincoln Sensui asked.

At a baseball field… where Deacon Rinku is at a game…

"You ditched Napoleon Hiei?" cried Bill Yusuke.

"Deacon Rinku, do you realize you've stranded one of Europe's greatest leaders in San Dimas?" cried Ted Kuwabara.

"He was a dick," said Deacon Rinku. (Authoress dies laughing as she pictures Rinku calling Hiei a dick… that's like Eric Idle from Monty Python calling Justin Timberlake lame, like he did in Shrek 3)

"Well, how're we gonna find him?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"Okay, wait, if we were one of Europe's greatest leaders, and we were stranded in San Dimas for one day, where would we go?" asked Bill Yusuke. They paused.

"Waterloo!" they yelled at the same time.

At Waterloo, a woman named Atsuko was at a gate was purchasing tickets.

"Eleven children please," she said. The kids filed in, with Napoleon Hiei walking with them.

"Mon dieu!" he exclaimed. Somehow he ended up at the top of a very high water slide. When it was his turn, he gazed nervously at the slide and the large drop that would result.

"Hey buddy, you're holding up the line!" called the lifeguard, whose name was Bui. Napoleon Hiei took a step in. Lifeguard Bui sighed. "Come on, buddy," he said, pushing Napoleon Hiei down the slide. At first, Napoleon Hiei screamed like a little girl, but by the time he hit the bottom, he realized that water slides are indeed fun. Now that he understood what was going on, he was eager to continue riding, so he did, until Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara finally caught up with him. They helped him out of the pool and wrapped him in a towel.

"C'est fantastic," said Napoleon Hiei.

"Come on, Napoleon Hiei. Everybody's waiting for us," said Bill Yusuke.

"No, no, no…" said Napoleon Hiei.

"Yes, yes, yes…" replied Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara.

But little did they know that the historical figures had abandoned their table in the food court (after drinking the slushies of course…) and were now wandering the mall.

Shizuru of Arc had stumbled across a gym in the middle of the mall. She looked around in interest as a woman named Botan stood up.

"Why be soft and flabby when you can be firm and trim. When you can have a body that cries out, 'look at me, admire me'. Come on! Let's go ladies!" They started doing aerobics, while Shizuru of Arc continues to watch.

In a music store, Sniper Beethoven was examining a keyboard synthesizer.

"You a musician?" asked salesman Kido. Sniper Beethoven looked at him. "Well here, try this." Salesmen Kido hit a button and music came right out of the keyboard. Sniper Beethoven laughed in delight.

In the Food Court, Jin the Kid and Socrates Chuu were watching two pretty girls who were watching them.

"He's so cute," gasped Fangirl1.

"Look at his sandals," added Fangirl2. (Why they're drooling over Chuu not Jin is strange to me, but that's okay.) Jin the Kid and Socrates Chuu walked over to them.

"Hi. I'm Jin, this here is So-crates Chuu."

"Socrates Chuu," snapped Socrates Chuu, miffed that Jin the Kid couldn't pronounce his name.

"We're from history," Jin the Kid continued, holding up a wanted poster.

The girls laughed, but at that moment Kurama Freud walked up.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Kurama Freud, but you may call me Ziggy."

"Oh my God!" the two girls laughed.

"You both seem to be suffering from a mild form of hysteria," said Kurama Freud.

"You are such a geek. Cute, but a geek." The girls left. (They must not be true fangirls to leave when Kurama walks up to them.)

"Way to go egghead," said Jin the Kid.

"Geek!" said Socrates Chuu.

"What is a geek?" asked Kurama Freud.

At Oshman's Sporting Goods… Genghis Kahn Touya was checking out baseball bats! Oh, doom! He tried one out by beating the crap out of a dummy. A guard named Yanagisawa happened to be watching. He grabbed his walkie-talkie.

"I need some help. I've got a live one here."

At a portrait studio, Mr. Lincoln Sensui had his photo taken.

"Thank you," he said.

"Okay, I need the stupid hat and the Lincoln beard back," said Amanuma the assistant photographer.

"You don't understand, I'm Abraham Lincoln Sensui."

"Yeah, right. Ha ha. Now, come on, mister…" said Amanuma the assistant photographer, reaching for the hat and beard.

"This is my hat and my beard!" cried Mr. Lincoln Sensui, running out.

Inside the gym, Instructor Botan kept teaching.

"Keep it up! You're looking great!" she called. Shizuru of Arc pushed Instructor Botan out of the way and started to teach the class herself.

In the music store, Salesman Kido was getting really pissed that Sniper Beethoven was still playing the keyboard and hadn't bought anything yet.

In Oshmans', the guards tried to grab Genghis Khan Touya, but he managed to escape on a skateboard.

Outside Oshmans', Jin the Kid came running by and started shooting his gun, causing the guards to dive to ground in a panic. Socrates Chuu ran after him shooting a plastic toy gun. Mr. Lincoln Sensui and Kurama Freud tried to escape up the escalator, but were caught.

"I demand my own lawyer," Kurama Freud said.

"Don't get smart with me, buddy. Let's go," said Yana the Guard.

In the gym, Instructor Botan managed to call security and get Shizuru of Arc taken away. At the ice skating rink, Jin the Kid, Socrates Chuu, and Genghis Kahn Touya tried to escape, but were surrounded and captured. Finally at the music store, Salesman Kido finally called security when a crowd gathered. Sniper Beethoven surrendered peacefully.

In the car, Bill Yusuke looked over at Missy Koto. "Mom, can't you go any faster?" he asked. Missy Koto obligingly burned rubber.

At the police station, everyone was being interrogated.

"I want to know why you claim to be Kurama Freud," said Koenma the Cop.

"Why do you claim that I'm not Kurama Freud?" asked Kurama Freud.

"Why do you keep asking me these questions?"

"Tell me about your mother," Kurama Freud said as Koenma the Cop got up to leave. "Would you like a couch to lie on?"

"No, I don't want a couch to lie on!"

(In Captain Logan Karasu's office)

"All right, what's your name?" asked Captain Logan Karasu.

"Abraham Lincoln Sensui. That's L-I-N-C-O-L-N."

"I know how to spell Lincoln. What's your birthday, Mr. Lincoln Sensui?"

"February 12th… 1809." (Grin)

(In the School Auditorium)

A stupid jock named Younger Toguro was giving his report. "Everything's different, yet the same. Things are more moderner than before…bigger, and yet smaller. It's computers. (pause) San Dimas High School Football Rules!" The crowd cheers and Ryouko and Himizu despair for everyone who has every worshipped a high school football player.

Outside the police station, Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara have finally arrived.

"I can't believe my dad arrested them all. What are we gonna do?" cried Ted Kuwabara.

"Okay, Ted Kuwabara, you go in and talk to your dad. I'm gonna scope the place out. Missy Koto, I mean Mom, please keep an eye on Napoleon Hiei. Napoleon Hiei, stay!"

(Inside)

"All right, lock him up with the rest of those wacko's," Captain Logan Karasu said.

"I am a lawyer you know…" Mr. Lincoln Sensui said as the cop escorted him away.

"Dad!" Ted Kuwabara exclaimed.

"You can pack your bags, Ted Kuwabara," his "father" said.

"What?" Ted Kuwabara gasped.

"You're going to Military School."

"But Dad…"

"No, I don't want to hear about it, Ted Kuwabara."

"But…"

"Ted Kuwabara, you go home and pack your bags, now!" Captain Logan Karasu shoved Ted Kuwabara out the door, touching his butt as he did so and earning himself three bricks, an anvil, and a 1-ton weight to the head.

(Outside)

"How'd it go?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"Bad," said Ted Kuwabara. "Our historical figures are all locked up and my dad won't let them out. Plus he touched my butt."

"Can we get your dad's keys?"

"Could steal them, but he lost them two days ago."

"If only we could go back in time to when he had them and steal them then."

"Well, why can't we?"

"Cause we don't got time."

(Himizu dies from terrible grammar)

"We could do it after the report."

"Ted Kuwabara, good thinking dude. After the report, we'll time travel back to two days ago, steal your dad's keys, and leave them here."

"Where?"

"I don't know. How about behind that sign? That way when we get here now, they'll be waiting for us." Bill Yusuke bent down and picked up the keys. "See?"

"Whoa! Yeah! So after the report, we can't forget to do this, or else it won't happen. But it did happen! Hey, it was me who stole my dad's keys!"

"Exactly, Ted Kuwabara. Come on." He walked over the car. "Mom?"

"Yes?" Missy Koto said.

"Can you bring the car around back?"

"Sure."

Bill Yusuke stood up. "Come on Ted Kuwabara. We've got some historical figures to rescue.

(Inside the police station)

A cop named Mitari was on the CB. "Roger, over and out." He got up and left. The door opened and Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara snuck in, staying below eye level by hiding behind a desk.

"How are we gonna get past my dad?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"Do you have a tape recorder at home?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"Yeah."

"Okay. Remember to get the tape recorder. Set a timer on it for 2:13. Got it?"

"Got it! What am I gonna say on it?"

(Some time later)

"Dad! Hey Dad!"

Captain Logan Karasu looked up. "Ted Kuwabara?"

"I'm over here. Yeah, this way."

Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara air guitar and snuck to the holding cell. They hid behind a desk and found a message for them on the typewriter.

"Hold on, a typewriter?" Hiei demanded.

"Yes, a typewriter. And a tape recorder," Ryouko said.

"You have to remember, this movie was made in the '80's," Himizu said calmly. "They weren't as advanced as us. She took a drink of Mountain Dew and let out a rather large belch. "Scuse me!" she gasped, blushing.

Bill Yusuke read the note. "Dear Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara, good luck on the report. Sincerely, Bill Yusuke S. Preston, Esquire & Ted Kuwabara 'Theodore' Logan."

"Wow, that was nice of us," said Ted Kuwabara.

Bill Yusuke kept reading. "PS. Duck!" The boys ducked just as a cop walked past.

"Excellent work, dude!" Bill Yusuke exclaimed.

(In the holding cells)

All the historical figures were sitting there. Shizuru of Arc was praying. She spotted them first. "Merci," she said, crossing herself.

Himizu glanced at the ceiling. "I'm expecting a bolt of lightning to strike me down at any moment for this blasphemy."

"Time is of the essence," said Bill Yusuke. "May I ask that you all work together so that we can get down to the car? Against the wall. Single file."

"Hurry up, Bill Yusuke!" Ted Kuwabara exclaimed.

Everyone lined up against the wall and Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara helped them out the window. Meanwhile, Captain Logan Karasu was still following the voice on the tape recorder.

"Over here, Dad! Down here!"

Captain Logan Karasu found the tape recorder.

"Way to go, dude. We stalled him."

"What else do I say? And now, opening for Iron Maiden, Wyld Stallyns!"

Captain Logan Karasu dropped the recorder, stomped on it repeatedly, and hurried back to the holding cell.

Meanwhile, Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara were helping Jin the Kid out the window.

"Ted Kuwabara? What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Ted Kuwabara started muttering to himself. "Remember a trashcan. Remember a trashcan!"

"Trashcan… what are you…?" Captain Logan Karasu suddenly has a trashcan on his head. "Get this off me, Ted Kuwabara!"

"Sorry dad… well, not really, but… we've got to go pass our history report. Oh…" He grabbed the keys from Bill Yusuke's mouth. "I found your keys!" he said, sitting them on the bars.

"Okay, one more session should do it!" Himizu said delightedly. "But I'm tired of filming."

"What do you plan to do instead? Watch more movies?" Kurama asked.

"Nope."

"Watch more TV shows?"

"Nope."

"Watch hockey?"

"Nope."

"Drink Mountain Dew?"

"That's kind of a given, no matter what I do…"

"Read?"

"Nuh uh."

Kurama frowned. "I give up."

"Play the Wii!" Himizu said excitedly.

"You have a Wii?" Yusuke exclaimed.

"Well, technically, no… but that's okay. It's my brother's, but I stole it."

"Uh… okay. Can I play?" he asked hopefully.

"Only if I pick the game."

"Okay, what game? Boxing? Tennis? Shooting?"

"Nope, nope, and nope! Tell him, Ryouko!"

"COW RACING!" Ryouko squealed.

Everyone face faulted.

"Excuse me?" Hiei exclaimed.

"Cow racing. Our characters sit on cows and they run and we have to steer the cows and make them run over scarecrows and you get bonus points if you can run over the little man that runs around on the racetrack!" Ryouko said.

"It's soooo much fun!" Himizu said.

"Psychopaths…" Yusuke muttered. Himizu and Ryouko laughed maniacally and vanished to play several round of cow racing, as well as the other fun games the Wii has to offer.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Hello everyone (all 2 of you who read this...), I randomly started getting 5 million ideas for my fanfics and have been going insane working on them, I finished Youkai in Black the other day and I just need to edit it, I've also started another fic, and Risu is helping me with it... so really that just leaves Evil Overlord List in the random little Fanfic Purgatory, but I'll see what I can do with that. Hope you all enjoy the fic, and please note that I did post two chapters for this fic at the same time, make sure you read chapter 5 first!

It was very late at night… or very early in the morning, if you prefer. Anyways, it was an hour when decent people try to sleep. But time is irrelevant when there are videogames to be played, so Ryouko and Himizu were still playing. They were currently engaged in boxing the daylights out of each other. Himizu managed to score a knockout, and danced around the room, happy that she was still the champion at boxing. Ryouko switched games and soon the two girls were cow racing. They whooped and hollered as their cows tore apart various scarecrows, and Ryouko let out a loud war whoop as she took out the little running man. Both were somewhat startled when Shizuru stormed in.

"Can't you two knock it off?" she demanded. "The rest of us are trying to sleep, and we can't when you two are yelling and shrieking and carrying on."

"Oh, you can't sleep?" said Himizu. "Well, in that case, let's film! Come on Ryouko!"

"But… but… we still have some time left!"

Himizu sighed, but turned back to the TV. "Some time" turned out to be about five seconds, and Ryouko ended up winning, thanks to the fact that she had smashed the little running man. Himizu backhanded her for making her turn back to the game with only five seconds left, and the two girls drank several cans of Mountain Dew before dashing out to the filming area where grumpy Cast members waited. They had realized that the sooner they got to work, the sooner they'd be allowed to sleep.

In the school parking lot, Missy Koto's car screeched to a halt. Inside the auditorium, a dumb jock named Bui was giving his report.

"In conclusion, I think Abraham Lincoln would be most impressed with the world of San Dimas. I know I am."

The audience applauded while Himizu muttered about flawed logic.

"Just because he likes it, doesn't mean Abe Lincoln would. Just like because Bootsy Collins supposedly knows about fashion doesn't mean that he knows anything about phones, like those stupid commercials!"

Mr. Ryan Kaito stood up. And I'm sure I speak for Mr. Ward and Mrs. Row when I say that your reports were very entertaining and very informative for all of us. So, it seems we may be one report short today, so we'll leave just a bit early. But once again, I want to thank you for all your very hard work…

All the lights went out and spotlights began to search the stage. A voice echoed from the speakers.

"Hello San Dimas!" Ted Kuwabara's voice called. "Please welcome, for the final report of the afternoon, from all throughout history, some of the greatest leaders who have ever lived, in their 1988 World Tour!"

The curtains opened and a spotlight hit Jin the Kid as he walked to the front of the stage. "How's it going? I'm Jin the Kid!" he called. The audience laughed, so Jin the Kid whipped out his gun and shot one of the lights in the ceiling. The audience shut up. Jin the Kid holstered his gun and continued his speech. "I'd like you all to put your hands together." The audience started clapping. "And now, my good friends, Bill Yusuke S. Preseton, Esquire and Ted Kuwabara 'Theodore' Logan. Yeehaw!"

Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara ran out onto the stage. "Thank you! Thank you! Hello San Dimas High!"

"Mr. Ryan, fellow distinguished classmates, teachers, babes," said Bill Yusuke.

"Our first speaker was born in the year…" Ted Kuwabara began.

Missy Koto snuck in and sat next to Mr. Ryan Kaito. "Hi, long time no see." Mr. Ryan Kaito smiled at her.

"…470 BC. A time when much of the world looked like the cover of the Led Zepplin album 'Houses of the Holy'," Ted Kuwabara continued.

"We were there. There were many steps and columns, it was most tranquil." Bill Yusuke gave a thumbs-up.

"He is sometimes known as the father of modern thought. He was the teacher of Plato, who was in turn the teacher of Aristotle. And like Ozzy Osborne, was repeatedly accused of corruption of the young."

"And since he doesn't speak English, my friend Ted Kuwabara here, is going to interpret for him. So please welcome, to tell us what he thinks of San Dimas, the most bodacious philosophizer in Ancient Greece…"

"Socrates Chuu!" the two boys chorused. The spotlight hit Socrates Chuu, and he looked rather surprised.

In the school parking lot… Captain Logan Karasu and Mr. Youko Preston were hurrying into the school.

"…is totally out of control," Captain Logan Karasu was saying. "And I got a pretty good idea where he gets it from. I mean if you and that, that wife of yours would show a little discipline you're son wouldn't be such a bad influence."

"Oh, is discipline the key to the success with Ted Kuwabara?"

"Yes! He's going to the Alaskan Military School."

They both entered the auditorium and saw the boys on stage. Ted Kuwabara was speaking for Socrates Chuu.

"He loves you best in all the world."

"What are they doing up there?" Captain Logan Karasu demanded. Mr. Youko Preston shushed him.

"He also loves baseball!"

(Now, in accordance with the movie, the shots will be in no particular sequence.)

Ted Kuwabara lay on a gurney while Kurama Freud analyzed him.

"Therefore, Ted Kuwabara's father's own fear of failure has caused him to make his son the embodiment of his own deepest anxieties about himself. And, hence, his aggression transference onto Ted Kuwabara," Kurama Freud explained.

"Whoa!" Ted Kuwabara exclaimed, sitting up.

"Okay, Ted Kuwabara?" Kurama Freud asked.

"Yes, thank you very much Sigmund Kurama Freud," Ted Kuwabara said.

Kurama Freud motioned for Bill Yusuke to lie on the gurney. Bill Yusuke shook his head. "Nah! I just got a minor Oedipal complex."

Missy Koto looked at Mr. Ryan Kaito and shrugged.

(For those of you who A) didn't pay attention in English, or B) haven't taken that class yet, Oedipus was a Greek king who unknowingly killed his father and married his mother. Stupid Greeks.)

"It is indeed a pleasure to introduce you to a gentleman we picked up in Mongolia in the year 1269," Bill Yusuke said.

"Please welcome the very excellent barbarian," continued Ted Kuwabara.

"Mr. Genghis Khan Touya!" called Bill Yusuke.

"This is a dude who, 700 years ago totally ravished China. And whom we're told, two hours ago, totally ravished Oshman's Sporting Goods."

Bill Yusuke and Shizuru of Arc were play fighting.

"A most bodacious soldier and general, Mr. Shizuru of Arc totally rousted the English from France. And then she turned this dude Gofann into a kid, and all this by the time she was 17."

Napoleon Hiei sat on the stage with maps of Austria and toy soldiers. He muttered in French. "…avec me waterslide…"

Sniper Beethoven played keyboards on stage.

"The music of Ludwig Von Sniper Beethoven…" said Ted Kuwabara.

Genghis Khan Touya practiced swordplay on stage.

"As you can see, Genghis very much enjoys Twinkies because of the excellent sugar rush," said Bill Yusuke.

Still speaking for Socrates Chuu, Ted Kuwabara said, "He also loves Billiards."

Sniper Beethoven continued to play on stage as Bill Yusuke said, "Sniper Beethoven's favorite works include Mozart's 'Requiem', Handal's 'Messiah', and Bon Jovi's 'Slippery When Wet'."

Shizuru of Arc and Bill Yusuke continued to fight.

"To improve the condition of her armies, Shizuru of Arc plans on instituting a full-scare aerobics program on her return to France," Ted Kuwabara told his audience.

Leaning over Napoleon Hiei's model, Ted Kuwabara said, "I don't think that's going to work."

"Non?" Napoleon Hiei muttered in French as he trashed the models with a stick.

Socrates Chuu stood on stage, gesturing and speaking in Greek.

"He loves… he loves San Dimas," Ted Kuwabara said. The audience cheered wildly.

Some time later…

"And now, for our last speaker. One of the greatest presidents in American History, Mr. Abraham Lincoln Sensui." The audience cheered.

"Four score and seven minutes ago, we, your forefathers were brought forth upon a most excellent adventure. Conceived by our new friends, Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara. These two great gentlemen are dedicated to a proposition, which was true in my time, just as it's true today. Be excellent to each other, and party on dudes!" The audience went crazy again.

Bill Yusuke looked at Ted Kuwabara. "No…"

"…Way!" exclaimed Ted Kuwabara.

"Thank you San Dimas High!" the two boys yelled. The boys and the historical figures climbed into the booth. Smoke rose up from the floor and obscured the booth taking off. The smoke cleared, the booth was gone, and the audience screamed for more.

In Bill Yusuke's garage… the boys were once again filming an intro to their video.

Ted Kuwabara held the camera. "Intro…"

"I'm Bill Yusuke S. Preston, Esquire." They switched places.

"Bill Yusuke?"

Bill Yusuke lowered the camera. "What's up, Ted Kuwabara?"

"Well, we traveled through time. I mean, we met lots of great leaders, and we got an A+ on our history report, but look at us, nothing's different."

"Maybe it's time we get Eddie Van Halen."

"Maybe we should start learning how to play."

"Maybe you're right, Ted Kuwabara."

They heard a noise outside that sounded suspiciously like the arrival of a phone booth. The garage door opened and Rufus Mitari stood there with the two Princesses.

"Hello again, my excellent friends. Congratulations on passing your history report."

"Rufus Mitari… the babes…" Bill Yusuke stammered.

"We looked all over England for you!" Ted Kuwabara exclaimed.

"Where'd you get those savory clothes?" Bill Yusuke asked them.

"Rufus Mitari introduced us to a place called the mall," Elisabeth Yukina said.

"And something called credit cards," Flora Keiko added.

"I got them out of England just before they had to marry those royal ugly dudes," Rufus Mitari explained.

"Whoa, way to go Rufus Mitari," Ted Kuwabara said.

The two girls walked over to the boys. Elisabeth Yukina gave Ted Kuwabara a kiss and Flora Keiko gave Bill Yusuke a kiss. Rufus Mitari watched with a smile.

"How can we ever thank you, Rufus Mitari?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"Well, you can start by signing this for my kids," he said, holding out a Wyld Stallyns CD.

"Why?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"They're big fans of yours."

"What?" Ted Kuwabara exclaimed.

"Everyone is. Wyld Stallyns music is the foundation for our whole society."

"No way!" exclaimed Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara.

"Yes way. In fact, I believe you were there. The futuristic place with the domes?"

"And the totally excellent music?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"They totally worshipped us there, Rufus Mitari!" exclaimed Ted Kuwabara.

"I know. That's why I was sent to make sure you passed your History report. If you guys were separated it would have been disastrous for life as we know it. You see, eventually your music will help put an end to war and poverty. It will align the planets and bring them into universal harmony. Allowing meaningful contact with all forms of life from extra terrestrials to common household pets. And, it's excellent for dancing. Why don't you have the ladies sign as well, would you please? After all, they are in the band."

"They are? Excellent!" exclaimed Bill Yusuke.

"Excellent," the Princesses chorused.

"Where are you going, Rufus Mitari?" asked Bill Yusuke.

"I've got a surprise for you," he told them. He went over to the booth and came back with two brand-new guitars. The boys took them reverently. "Here. That's to help you as you start your band."

"Thanks Rufus Mitari," the boys exclaimed.

"Now I have just one more humble request. If I might be so honored to jam with you?"

"Oh, do you know how to play?" asked Ted Kuwabara.

"I play a little," Rufus Mitari said. He picked up one of the old guitars and played very well indeed.

"Most outstanding, Rufus Mitari," said Ted Kuwabara.

"Let's jam!" said Bill Yusuke. Both boys plugged in their guitars and turned up the amps. Elisabeth Yukina went to the keyboard and Flora Keiko went to the drums.

"Bill Yusuke my friend?" said Ted Kuwabara.

"Yes, Ted Kuwabara my friend?" Bill Yusuke replied.

"This has been a most excellent adventure," Ted Kuwabara stated.

The boys chorused, "One, two… one, two, three, four…" Everyone started playing, and they were all terrible. Rufus Mitari turned to the camera and grinned feebly.

"They do get better…" he said.

A cardboard sign appeared, reading, "THE END!"

"Alright, we're finished!" Himizu exclaimed delightedly. "And that's gonna be it for parodies for a little while. I have a big project in mind, but I have a lot to do before I'll be ready to start it."

"Thank Enma for that…" Yusuke muttered.

"Never fear, this idea is so amazingly good that I will never give up on it!" Himizu added, striking a heroic pose.

"Damn…" the Cast muttered.

"But until then… we need to celebrate the completion of a successful parody!" Ryouko pointed out.

"How do you plan to do that?" Kurama asked. Ryouko and Himizu exchanged evil grins and they suddenly produced a large granite stone and two brooms.

"By curling!" they exclaimed. The Cast face-faulted, which proved to be a mistake since it gave the two authoresses a chance to pounce and drag them off to the specially designed curling rink.

"Why curling?" Hiei exclaimed furiously.

"Simple… Himizu is a Canadian at heart. Think about that Weird Al song, Canadian Idiot. She may not swill beer, but she's a hockey nut, she eats her weight in Kraft Macaroni, she dreams of driving a Zamboni, she treats curling like it's a real sport, and she thinks Canadian accents are really cute," Ryouko explained. "Therefore, we curl."

So the scene closes as Yusuke and Kuwabara frantically sweep the ice in front of the stone that Himizu has thrown while Ryouko whips them furiously and shouts at them to move faster. Of course, there is total chaos; it's something that happens whenever Himizu sets her mind to making a parody. But even as she curls, Himizu's mind is busy, thinking about her other fanfics and her future parody project.


End file.
